Reflections

"At any given moment God is doing a 1000 different things in you"

As I sat in reflection and drawing on Joni Eareckson Tada's lesson "A Jewel In His Crowen" with Ginny Owens playing in the background Im looking at this in a new pespective. A perspective I hope I can hold on too! I look over the past few weeks and I see the incredible fear I have had of what God is doing: fear that it would be His plan to take the baby and that I could do nothing to stop Him. I have held on with incredibly tight fists. But I have decided that fists let go, hands open, and heart ready my desire more than anything, yes even more than this sweet baby, is my desire to be the Women God has for me. I want to be more like Him, to see His son shine through my broken cracks. When I was lisstening to Joni she talked about how in this world there is so much suffering, and while I know I am an incredibly blessed women, and my suffering is minimal compared to so many, this is indeed a trial. My prayer is that I will begin to look at in a new light: that I will relize like Joni says: "I am not as delicate as I would like to think" That I can see the selfish ness of me, my domestic sins that I have so easily looked past, and that I might truly begin to desire God to scoure me, His refinement, not becasue I enjoy the struggels, but because I truly desire to be a reflextion of Gods Son! I desire to truly yield my life to Christ. Least this sound holier than thou, I know I have an incredibly long ways to go, the rest of this earthly life to be precise. I just wanted to share my new perspective, in knowing that as you read this you will partner my prayers not only that God would stregthen our sweet little baby, but that He would use this trial to make more like Him, to grown and to chnage me!